5 books I didn't finish
Friday, September 10, 2025
"I love books!" I say, doing everything possible to procrastinate on getting myself a BAnQ card. No but for real, I like reading, but I always struggle to really get into a story. Usually, when I start thinking too long about the prep time for an activity, I lose interest. That's also why I'm incapable of watching movies. But right now we're not talking about movies, we're talking about the thing that often comes before the movie and is almost always better.
I feel like there are so many useless taboos around books. You can't fold the pages, you can't highlight or write little notes, if you break the spine of a book you're apparently a literal monster, and if you start a book but don't finish it you deserve worse than death. Personally, I am so fed up with all this elitism. So instead of making my first book-related post a list of things I really enjoyed (something I'll probably do eventually), I decided to spread another layer of tar over my heart and present, with subtitles that sound like the titles of a future Simon Boulerice series, 5 books whose last page will never have the chance to see the ceiling of my bedroom.
BIG SPOILER ALERT! I'm going to talk about what I've read, and I'm assuming no one who reads my reviews is actually going to be interested in reading these books (because I clearly don't have only positive things to say about books I didn't even finish), so if I spoil stuff I'm not that sorry. And anyway I only half-remember what happens in these books so my spoilers probably won't even be that accurate.
The One That Betrayed Me
Yeruldelgger by Ian Manook
I put so much trust in this book. To be fair, it really is a good read, with a super interesting atmosphere that blends the mystical, spiritual side of Mongolia's nomadic peoples with the drama, suspense, criminal ugliness, and the arrogant, rational main character of a classic detective novel. Plus, there was Oyun. A strong, independent, clever female character, street-smart, with her own personality, and way less of a manic pixie dream girl than she could have been. You know, the kind of person you just wish all the happiness in the world for. So of course, all the shit in this horrible world had to fall on her.
After Ian Manook made her go through an absolutely traumatic scene involving about thirty bikers and a branch that was still burning on one end, I guess he got tired of looking at her because she dies once, only to hover between life and death for about ten pages (just long enough for me to believe my favorite character might survive), and then dies a second time for no reason at all. Maybe it's childish, but I was so mad I shoved the book back into my bag with, hopefully, enough force for that anger to reach the author directly. I gave up on this book, and even if you promised me she actually survives, I couldn't care less. In my mind, the book died with Oyun.
The One That Enraged Me
La bête à sa mère by David Goudreault
Zeus, I find this guy pretentious as hell! He writes in a style that sort of resembles slam, but not slam poetry so much as repeatedly slamming your head into a brick wall for several millennia. When he drops one of his classic punchlines, like for example:
Comme le diraient les chinois au casino, le monde est petit mais le hasard est grand. (As the Chinese would say at the casino, the world is small but chance is huge.)
it's easy to guess he probably came so hard on the page that the manuscript stayed glued together. He writes in a way that makes it crystal clear how proud he is of himself, but in the end, it's mid as hell and dripping with irreverence.
I still gave La bête à sa mère a try after I got it as a Christmas gift, mostly because at the time I wasn't familiar with David Goudreault's writing. And by Toutatis, it was unbearable. Even setting aside my disdain for the author, the book just really isn't for me. The narrator and main character is a complete asshole, a psychopath who honestly matches his creator perfectly. And yeah, I get it, we're not supposed to like him, but in that case, why would I force myself to read an entire book narrated by someone who disgusts me, and who's written with all the finesse of an 18-wheeler crashing into a daycare full of porcelain children? See David, it's not hard to just write whatever nonsense and call it “slam writing.” Dumbass.
The One That Lost Me
S. by Doug Dorst and J.J. Abrams
I so badly wanted to be able to read this book! The concept is so cool, getting to follow multiple stories at once through the messages left by two people passing a library book back and forth (a book which is itself a complete story). The kind of book you can really only read physically, especially because it's filled with inserts tucked between the pages. So I grabbed it from the library, started reading...
And as soon as the notes showed up in different colors my brain short-circuited. I felt like I was spoiling myself if I didn't read them in the right order, but I had no clue what the right order even was. Do I read the base book once first without worrying about the annotations? Do I read everything page by page? It completely ruined the experience for me not being able to follow a clear path, even though I know that's kind of the whole point to be messy and to break conventions of what a book can be. I'd love to give it another try someday, but I'm going to need to learn to embrace chaos first.
The One I Loved Too Much
Millennium by Stieg Larsson
I started reading Millennium because I once saw my dad reading it, and I tried to read over his shoulder but he pushed me away saying it was really not for kids. That flipped a switch in my brain and it became my life's goal to read that book. In the meantime, Stieg Larsson had time to die, leaving behind only 3 books out of his planned 10. So David Lagercrantz picked up the absolutely massive torch of continuing a series started by a dead man. And I clearly remember my dad reading it, and strongly advising me not to bother because it was nowhere near as good as the first three.
So I read the original three Millennium books, knowing full well I couldn't get too attached to the main characters because I absolutely had to stop where the original author had died. But yeah, I totally failed at that, because I loved this book so much. It came at just the right time in my life, when I needed a giant flashy brick of a book to show off that I read big books (which impresses literally no one, let's be honest), and a violent story with a manic pixie dream girl who was subconsciously giving me gender envy. I cried at the end of the second book, which is rare for me, and now that I've finished the three original novels, there's a Lisbeth Salander-shaped hole in my heart. I just can't bring myself to open the fourth book, so I stare at it through the glass, sighing and drawing a little heart in the fog.
The One That Got Away
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
I know for a fact that if I had finished this book, I would've become the most annoying person alive. You know the type of book that would've become my whole personality for a few months. A war satire that shifts from dark comedy to something much darker? Yeah, that's 100% my thing. And I remember my mom gave it to me, I started it and really enjoyed it, and then I just… stopped?
I seriously need to get back to it, because I know I'll love it. But for some reason, every time I think about picking it back up, my brain wants to do literally anything else. I think it's because the writing style is so disjointed, kind of absurd at times so my brain has flashbacks to S. and freaks out. Or maybe it's just the fact that it's a war novel, and that subject has never brought me anything but joy and happiness (note: sarcasm), and that right now I tend to lean way more towards escapism than cerebral challenges for my entertainment. I'll get back to it one day though, I swear, and once I finish it, oh my god I'll become unbearably exhausting by talking exactly like Joseph Heller writes. Sorry in advance.
Clearly I'm not the best at writing deep reviews that really dig into the themes of the novels. I'm just a casual reader, I read for my own enjoyment and I stop when I'm not having fun. That said, I still think this was an interesting subject to explore,it made me realize I should pick up books that challenge me a little from time to time. One thing's for sure, I really need to get back into reading in general, because it's been way too long since I finished a novel I loved if the only works I can even mention are ones I didn't finish. Next time I'll just talk about books I like, that'll be nice. Ok kisses bye.
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